


Be There

by KadeSmash85



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: 12th Season, Alternate Ending, Angst, Doctor Who Series 12 Spoilers, First Kiss, I suck at tags, Love Confessions, One Shot, Send help I have a problem, The Doctor is distant, The ending we should have gotten just sayin, thasmin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:55:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27158936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KadeSmash85/pseuds/KadeSmash85
Summary: An alternate ending to Series 12 episode 10 The Timeless Children. Obviously, Thasmin.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	Be There

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not gonna lie. This was supposed to be more. But for some reason it all feels so daunting. Without giving a life story, a one shot just seemed more feasible. So, for those few who read the two chapters I did manage, I will keep them, and maybe I'll add more to this eventually. But for now I just want to write this as a one shot I think. Get it out of my system.

“I started this with Shelley and the Cyberium, now I have to finish it.” the Doctor had said. She had looked right at Yaz, their eyes locking as the atmosphere felt tense and thick. “Alone.”

Yaz couldn't believe what she was hearing. Not this, not now. “What?” She asked, her disbelief evident. But the Doctor knew. Yaz was loyal... A friend when you needed one most. Brave to a fault. The Doctor admired that in Yaz. Adored it even. But the Doctor had stuck to her guns the entire time she traveled with her newfound friends. Her fam.

 _I'm with you, whatever happens._ Those words echoed in the Doctor's head. Yaz's words. Words that had meant so much, but were so dangerous. Especially now. The Doctor would not let Yaz get herself killed.

It wasn't supposed to be this way. It wasn't supposed to end this way. But Yaz knew, especially after everything they had been through, that there were dangers. That traveling with the Doctor meant that there was the chance that it wouldn't end well. Despite all the amazing things she had seen, done, experienced, that the dangers could become too much. Too real.

More real than she had ever wanted to accept.

But now, they were all standing in a strange TARDIS, on the Doctor's home world, facing the end of the road. The Doctor had made her decision, and her decision was to die. To save everyone, to stop the Master, to keep the new race of Cybermasters from ever getting off Gallifrey, she had chosen to wipe them all out, and it would take her with them.

And when the Doctor had ignored Yaz; explained that the TARDIS they were currently standing in would take them home, Yaz almost drowned it all out. The Doctor was going to leave. Leave her, leave them all behind.

“You'll die too.” Yaz had barely registered Ryan saying.

“That's the way it has to be.” The Doctor said. Yaz felt her heart start to sink. No, not sink, like it was teetering on the edge of a high cliff, ready to make the plunge.

Yaz finally looked to the Doctor, her every heartbeat clinging to what she had to say. “And I would do that in a heartbeat. For this universe. For you. My fam.” The Doctor looked at Graham, Ryan and then her eyes lingering on Yaz as she spoke.

Yaz couldn't take her eyes off the Doctor if she wanted to. The best person she ever met. Someone she had gotten to know over the course of their time together. Someone she had confided in from time to time... And, over time, the Doctor had opened up to her little by little.

There was still so much that Yaz didn't know when it came to the Doctor. But she had been glad when the Time Lord had taken the chance to tell Yaz things. To tell Yaz things about her past. Something that the Doctor wasn't always so keen to do with everyone. Or so the impression Yaz had anyway.

The Doctor's eyes flitted back to the others for the briefest of moments before she took one last look at Yaz. The two locked eyes for just a second, but there was meaning there. Something unspoken between the two of them.

And then the Doctor turned with heavy hearts. She had to do this. If it meant sacrificing herself so that everyone else could live, so that Yaz could live, then that's what she had to do.

But she didn't get more than a couple of steps in before Yaz suddenly surged forward, grabbing the Doctor's arm. “We're not letting you go. You're not doing this!” Yaz's voice was so desperate. Almost willing for the Doctor not to dive into her suicide mission. So full of desperation.

But the Doctor would not allow her human counterpart to stop her now. And she yanked her arm back with force. “Get off me, Yaz!” the Doctor snapped. Her hearts were beating wildly in her chest. She did not mean to snap at the one person she had left in this universe to give a right damn about.

They both fell silent, both breathing heavier than they had been mere seconds ago. Both so full of raw emotion. The Doctor regretted snapping at Yaz. She regretted having to leave her behind like this. Knowing it was the end. End of the line. She didn't want this to be the end. She wanted more, more time to do the things she should have done so long ago. “Please...” The Doctor begged.

Yaz's eyes welled with tears. Tears that threatened to spill over. “Please, don't leave me.” Yaz begged. What was she to do?

The Doctor felt her hearts begin to ache. The Doctor took the chance, took a step closer, reached out with one hand. The Time Lord hesitated a beat, let her hand hover a moment. She ached to touch Yaz, everything in her body screamed for it. As though it would be the balm to heal all her wounds in that moment.

The Doctor finally placed her hand on Yaz's cheek. “I wouldn't do, if I could.” She started. Finally a tear fell from Yaz's eye just before she sucked in a hitched breath. “But I have to. I'm sorry, Yaz... I am so sorry, but I am out of options.” She went on, her voice quiet, but firm in her conviction.

Finally, a quiet sob escaped Yaz. “But I don't want you to die.” She protested. Yaz looked straight at the Doctor. Her dark brown eyes practically bore into the Doctor's soul. The Doctor opened her mouth, as though to say something, protest even. She had heard such words before, from old friends... Old loves. But then she closed her mouth, at a loss for words despite.

A beat passes, and Yaz lets out a more audible sob, “I love you.” The Doctor's hearts broke into a million billion pieces on the spot. Those words spoke more than simply love. They begged and tugged at the Doctor. Stay, don't go, don't leave her behind. Don't run off and get herself killed.

The Doctor's mind raced. She knew. Of course she knew. They both knew, and they have done for quite some time now. Neither dared to speak about it. All those quiet moments between the two of them. The looks, the briefest of touches, the smiles, the conversations, just the two of them. The Doctor wiped the stray tears from Yaz's cheeks with her thumbs.

Yaz grabbed at her wrists, her eyes begging, the tears falling freely now.

The Doctor suddenly found herself alone in her TARDIS. Burning up a sun just to say goodbye to Rose Tyler. _I love you!_ Rose had sobbed on a beach, stuck in a parallel universe. The Doctor had failed to return the words before losing the connection.

The Doctor stood before River Song, tears in her eyes, much like Yaz before her now. River, doing everything she could to save the Doctor. She had broken a fixed point in time just to save the Doctor. River loved that much. Cared that much. To risk everything. All of time and space dying, just to keep the Doctor alive.

 _I can't let you die, without knowing you are loved. By so many, and so much. But by no one more than me._ River was just as stubborn as the Doctor. She was willing to bend the rules. Not just bend them, outright smash them to bits. All because she loved the Doctor so much.

And in both cases the Doctor had failed to tell both Rose and River how much she cared for them as well. How much she loved them. Never spoke the words. The Doctor was more about action and showing, than speaking it. But she knew that was a lie. She was more afraid of the heartache after they would leave. So she had kept those words to herself.

And yet her hearts ached anyway once they were gone. And she regretted never telling them. Regretted that River ever thought that the Doctor didn't love her in return.

And now the Doctor was standing on the precipice. About to take the plunge into death's long since waiting arms. And all the memories of both Rose and River, all the missed opportunities, all the times she never said those three words when she knew she should have passed through her mind in just mere milliseconds.

Her brain worked so fast through the memories and old hurts and regrets, that Yaz barely had to wait a breath before the Doctor gave her a sad smile. “Oh, Yaz... Yasmin Khan...” The Doctor started. She refused in that moment to never tell Yaz. Because she would never get that chance again. “I cannot risk you. Never you. You have to be the exception. That is why I have to do this. Why I have to go. Why you need to leave.” The Doctor explained.

The Doctor then rested her forehead against Yaz's. Perhaps their first, and only real intimate physical contact. The Doctor locked her eyes on Yaz's. “Because I love you too.” The Doctor then said, only loud enough for the two of them to hear.

It almost felt like that moment after their confessions lasted an eternity, but really it was just a second after the Doctor had finally said those three words. Just a second. Neither knew who really made the move, but suddenly lips crashed together. Perhaps they both made the move at the exact same time, not that they were going to complain.

But it was desperate. Tongues clashed together in their fervor to show just how much they cared for each other. It was deep, it was meaningful, electric, yet messy as teeth clattered together. The Doctor's hands cupped Yaz's face firmly, while Yaz's hands gripped the Time Lord's forearms tightly. They completely forgot about the now half stunned audience around them, save for Ryan and Graham who had probably suspected something between the two of them for a while now.

And the Doctor's hearts leapt in her chest. Their duel beats erratic and full of both joy and immense sadness. Yaz's own single heart nearly matched the Doctor's two in terms of how quickly it beat in her chest.

But the kiss did not last. The Doctor couldn't forget what she had to do. She had no more time. She had to go now, and she knew she didn't want to. She wanted to escape with the others. With Yaz. She desperately wanted it. But if anyone were to live beyond this moment, she had to go.

So the Doctor abruptly pulled away from Yaz. Yaz, who looked absolutely devastated and utterly shattered at the Time Lord's abrupt departure from the kiss they had just shared. “Live great lives.” The Doctor said, her voice quiet. It almost trembled and gave away her own devastation.

With one last look at Yaz and the swish of her long coat, she spun around and marched out of the TARDIS before she could back out of what she had to do.

“No!” Yaz practically screamed as the Doctor vanished out the doors. Yaz tried to run for the Doctor, tried to go with her, but suddenly she was halted by strong arms. “Ryan, let go of me, I won't let her go alone!” Yaz sobbed, tears spilling harder than ever from her eyes.

“She wouldn't want that, Yaz!” Ryan shouted back, his hold on her growing tighter as she struggled against him.

Ko Sharmus couldn't stand to watch this anymore. And he knew this was his mess. His to fix. Yaz didn't need to lose the Doctor, and he could clearly see how much the very idea was killing the young woman as she struggled with her friend to get loose. “Keep her here. I'll get the Doctor out. This is my responsibility, I'm the one that should see it through.” He said as he quickly made his way out of the TARDIS himself.

And as soon as the doors closed, the engines wheezed to life, Yaz screaming and struggling even harder, despite knowing that the TARDIS was leaving. Leaving the Doctor behind. The best person she ever knew, and the one person in all of time and space she loved most. Left to die without Yaz at her side.

Yaz barely registered that the TARDIS was in flight when Ryan finally let her go and she dropped to her knees, ignoring all the eyes on her as she sobbed in anguish on the floor. Graham finally made his way in front of Yaz as he scooped her off the floor and into a tight hug. He knew how she must have been feeling. Very similarly to how he felt when he had lost Grace that first night they met the Doctor.

Only Yaz never got to know what it felt like to be with the person she had fallen for. “Just let out it out, Love, it's alright.” He tried to comfort Yaz as she wrapped her arms around his, sobbing into his shoulder. Ryan's own heart ached at the sight as he knelt down, wrapping his own arms around Yaz and Graham both.

And the three of them sat huddled together on the floor as the TARDIS flew them back to 21st century Earth. Ryan and Graham's hearts ached, but Yaz felt as though hers was ripped from her chest.

They would make it home... But what would become of her Doctor?


End file.
